I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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