Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
