i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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