My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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