You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
