At least make sure they are 18
Why
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
