I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
