community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
