is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
