Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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