Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize