So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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