shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize