No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
