It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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