I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We left the knife in your bed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
