Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
