your parents love me but you hate me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The Olympian is in my bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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