You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
