the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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