Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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