Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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