So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish i was in the wii world.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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