but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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