A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
