Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
