I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
