ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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