So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
