Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
