belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
