Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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