people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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