I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
