I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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