Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
