gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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