You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
