just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
