were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
