Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
