apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
