She said her name was "party"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
