I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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