Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
