I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
