Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
