Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize