apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
