yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize