is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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