fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
