That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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