Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
