Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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