I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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