Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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