my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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