You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
