i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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